Jailed
by Jediempress
Summary: Zack, Reno and Leon need Sora and Riku to bail them out. Find out why. Yaoi. Crackfic for Sassy-Aloo. COMPLETE.


This is total crack written for Sassy-Aloo. She is the only person to have reviewed every single freakin' word in Words are Power. I felt that needed some kind of reward. These are her pairings.

Obviously, I still don't own the boys.

Jailed

Sora followed Lucky into the cell block and stared at its occupants in total disbelief. When Riku had called him and told him that he needed to come down to the enforcement complex to help him bail some of the others out, he though it was some kind of joke. He then figured perhaps Reno or Irvine, maybe even Zack, had gotten themselves in trouble.

He really was not expecting to find not just Reno and Zack but Leon also.

"What the heck happened?" The spiky brunet nearly shouted.

"That's what I'm waiting to hear," muttered Riku from the other side of the stone pillar that sat opposite the jail cell. He was clearly not happy about being dragged out of bed at three in the morning either.

"Look, we'll tell you both everything as soon as you get us out of here." Zack almost begged. He had several tears to his clothing and a bruised cheek.

Reno nodded vigorously beside him. He was also disheveled and more bloodied up than Zack. "Yeah, in vivid fuckin' detail, yo."

"No, now." There was an edge to the silvered teenager's voice that left no room for argument.

Zack and Reno looked at Sora. The brunet boy hesitated a moment before setting his face into an equally stern expression. He would have likely caved into the men's request but with Riku standing firm on the issue, Sora had no trouble holding up along with him.

Leon was the one who quietly spoke. "We had what should have been a minor argument among friends and it turned into an all-out brawl."

"I gathered that from the assault and disorderly conduct charges." Riku stated dryly. "What was the argument?"

"Irvine had a few too many and started hitting on Zack." Reno rushed out. "Leonhart got all jealous about it and-"

"I wasn't jealous!"

"-told Irvine to knock it off." The Turk continued as if Leon had not spoken. "Of course, Fair flirted right back, not taking the subtle hints Cloud and I were fuckin' trying to give him."

Zack smacked Reno's arm. "Well, how the hell was I supposed to know Squall has an unspoken claim on Irvine!"

"I don't-"

"Well it's fuckin' obvious to everyone else!" Reno shoved at Zack's shoulder.

"Besides, it was only flirting." Zack turned angrily away, throwing a quick look at Leon who was glaring back at him. "Irvine isn't my type."

"Yeah, you only go for young looking, spiky blonds." Leon barely hissed out.

"What was that?" Zack narrowed his eyes at the sable-haired man.

"You heard me."

The ex-SOLDIER whirled on Reno. "Cloud told you about Roxas, didn't he?"

Reno opened and closed his mouth once. "He accidentally let it slip one night."

Zack's jaw locked. "Oh, he's dead."

"It's a good thing no one remembers him." Leon leaned back. "Wouldn't want the wrong people to hear about that, could end up in prison for a long time."

"You slept with my Nobody?" Sora gaped. "I don't even know how to react to that!"

"I didn't-" Zack cut himself off. He shook a finger at Leon. "Oh, Squall. You have no idea what you've started."

"I know perfectly well, Fair." Leon stood up. "The question is, can you finish it?"

"Oh, you better believe I can!"

"Hey!" Reno jumped between them. "This isn't fuckin' helping us to get out of here, yo!"

"No, it isn't." Riku broke in. "You got five more minutes before Sora and I leave."

Zack turned away from Leon and rested his arms on the cell bars. "Long story short, Leon decked me. I hit him back, Reno jumped in to break us up and somehow the fight got out of control."

Riku narrowed his eyes in thought. "You had to have said something pretty bad to get Leon to react that strongly, even if he was drunk."

Leon made a motion with his hand. "Tell him what you said, Zack."

"Does it really matter?" Zack deflected. "It doesn't change anything!"

"It was really harsh and totally unnecessary, Zack." Reno noted. "I'm starting to think Cloud's right about you."

The ex-SOLDIER's head turned sharply. "What did he say?"

"Spike's convinced that the reason you and Leon have been fightin' so much is cause both of you want to fuck each other's brains out, yo."

"What?" Leon blew out a breath. "That's ridiculous."

"Yeah, Squall's totally hung up on Irvine." Zack's words took on an odd tone.

Riku chuckled. "I think Cloud's right."

Zack and Leon stared at him.

"What do you think, Sora?" Aqua eyes glanced over.

Sora did not understand a lot about sexual tension but there was an odd vibe between the two. He knew Riku understood a lot more about these things than he did. It seemed a pretty safe bet that his friend knew what he was talking about. "Oh, yeah."

Reno snorted. "Cloud will be thrilled you all fuckin' believe him."

"I think you're all crazy." Leon muttered. "And Cloud's the craziest of them all."

"Don't you start in on Cloud, Leonhart," warned Reno. "I will make your life miserable."

"You already have," Leon smirked. "But you go ahead and defend your boyfriend, Turk."

"Enough!" Riku somehow managed to raise his voice without yelling. "Sora and I are the teenagers around here and you guys are carrying on like…"

"Adolescent school girls." Sora finished. He grinned at Riku's subtle approving nod. "I'm thinking we should leave them in here to cool off."

"Same here."

Reno slumped over. "Oh, come on! I can't spend the entire fucking night in here with these two! With my luck, they'll both snap and start fuckin' each other in the corner!"

Riku eyed Leon and Zack. "That does sound like a possibility."

"Why don't you have Cloud bailing you out?" Sora asked curiously.

Reno laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "I kinda promised him I wouldn't go drinking with Zack anymore. He finds out about this and, well, you know how he is, Silver."

"Yeah, you won't be getting any from him for a month." Riku nodded. Yeah, he knew how his ex-boyfriend worked. "He's gonna find out about this."

"Yeah, but I've got a plan so it won't be too bad."

Riku glanced at Sora, one eyebrow lifted. "What do you say, Sor? Should we spring them?"

"If we don't, we won't hear the end of it."

"Very true." Riku noted. The smile both directed at the three in cell warned all of them that the Keybearers would not be forgetting this event for a very long time. "All right, we'll post your bail. Come on, Sora."

There was a mumbling of 'thank yous' as the two followed Lucky out to the front desk. Sora shook his head. "I can't believe this."

"Hopefully tonight will teach them all something and Zack and Leon will get their asses in gear."

"You really think they like each other?"

"I'd say it's more than that." Riku mumbled. The desk sergeant handed them some papers and the silvered teen quickly filled them out. The pair handed over the required munny and after a few minutes, Zack, Leon and Reno rather sheepishly entered the room.

Lucky looked over and spoke sternly. "I suggest you all go home and sleep off the hang-overs your going to have."

"Yes, sir." Reno mock-saluted him, as did Zack. Leon grunted and quickly pushed past the other two. He took the lead and left, everyone else following.

Outside, the sky was lightening up. No one said anything to one another. Reno waved and walked toward the apartment complex he lived in with Cloud. Leon and Zack headed in the opposite, side-by-side in a terse silence. Riku and Sora stood in front of the building.

"So," Riku stuffed his hands. "You going to try to go back to bed?"

"Naw, I'd only have to be up again in an hour to walk Cloud-puppy for Sassy."

"Wanna get some food at the all hours diner?"

"Sure," agreed Sora and they began walking. "And you can explain to me why you think Leon and Zack want to jump each other's bones."


End file.
